Adrian: I'm not sure what's up with this speech. It's super, super short, so you don't really ever make it clear what, exactly, HfH is. You make it almost seem like a social activity for lonely college students and no more. You're not really pitching this organization. Also, what happened to the story? The goal of this assignment is to use a story to convince us to get involved with your organization. Right now, that story is missing.
Adrian: I'm not sure what's up with this speech. It's super, super short, so you don't really ever make it clear what, exactly, HfH is. You make it almost seem like a social activity for lonely college students and no more. You're not really pitching this organization. Also, what happened to the story? The goal of this assignment is to use a story to convince us to get involved with your organization. Right now, that story is missing.
ReplyDeleteGet on it!